


Heart And Soul, To Me

by sunshinexprincess



Series: Wound With Circumstance [7]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Kinda, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:20:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22609921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinexprincess/pseuds/sunshinexprincess
Summary: What she did know was that, as she basked in the last moments of warmth and pressed patterns into the bubble of bright yellow that surrounded them, that things were now very, very, very different.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey
Series: Wound With Circumstance [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1606390
Comments: 8
Kudos: 19





	Heart And Soul, To Me

**Author's Note:**

> Had to get this one out of my head! Hoping it gives me room to play with a more complex dynamic and get one of them over to the other's side. . .
> 
> or maybe I'll hate it and forget it ever happened. We'll see!

“You’re tense today Sola.”

Rey sighed deeply, rolling her shoulders out with much more effort than it should have taken the average person her age.

“Trying to write a speech for a panel I was supposed to have done by. . .” -she checked another sheet of paper on her overcrowded desk- “yesterday at noon.” Her head dropped dejectedly into her hands, her shoulders drooping again into the very position that had been causing her pain for hours. “I don’t know what to say. I don’t do this public speaking thing.”

“You know what I have to say about that,” he murmured chidingly. The sound of his cloak sweeping softly across the floor signaled her that he was walking up to her chair. His hands- gloveless, she noticed, and she blushed as she remembered a single piece of black leather tucked away discretely in the bottom drawer of her bedside table- came to rest gently on her shoulders, an unspoken question floating across the space between them. she nodded.

“It’s a wonder they’re letting you speak at all,” he thought out loud after a moment, beginning to knead the muscles of her shoulders lightly under his knuckles. “Seeing as you told those disgusting Rebels the truth about our. . .connection.”

“I’m one of those disgusting Rebels too,” she reminded him, but the response lacked bite. They had for weeks now. He was the closest thing she had to a friend now, and for him, she was the closest thing to anyone who cared.

What a pair they made.

_Pair._

“They told Leia,” she explained, “and she decided not to say anything to the Council.” Rey half-snorted in disbelief, half-laughed incredulously. “I think she wants to think that I can change you.” He felt the hope drifting through the energy between them, pausing tentatively inches from his skin before retreating to the safety it came from.

_So do you._

_I know that I can’t._

_And I can’t change you._

She looked over her shoulder at him, the whisper of a frown flitting across her face. “When did that change?” She questioned. She suppressed the disappointment that threatened to rise from her chest; did even he not want her anymore?

“It matters not,” he said carefully, and she took the hint- thought she wasn’t at all satisfied- turning back to he desk and relaxing again. She winced when he dug his fingers into a spot beneath her left shoulder-blade, and gasped in pain when he pressed harder.

_OW._

_Would you rather me stop?_

She didn’t answer out loud, choosing to blush frustratedly instead.

_I thought so._

Rey sank into her chair and the rhythmic kneading of his fingers, and wondered how they, the last true Jedi and the galaxy’s murderous dictator, had formed the dynamic they had. Of course when she recalled each of their meetings, when she looked back on each inconvenient connection, she could follow the timeline easily enough. But how she had grown to find compassion for him, to find understanding, patience, care. . .

she didn’t quite know.

_Could it possibly be that you know I’m right?_

_Get out of my head._

_But Sola, you don’t want me too._

When was he ever not right?

“I can’t stand you,” she murmured pointlessly, falling deeper into the pressure of his fingers.

“And I abhor you just as much,” he said smoothly. His fingers dug purposefully harder into her muscles.

“Shit!” She slapped his hand away and stood up angrily. “This is all your fault you know that?” She pointed at the stacks of papers on the desk, her finger shaking. “If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t be here, trying to be someone I’m not. I wouldn’t be lonely, I would have friends and a _family_ , I would have a simple, safe life where I wouldn’t be risking my ass every day trying to save the goddamn universe on my own from someone I-“ she paused, her arm dropping loosely to her side.

“You say you want to see me thrive, to find my purpose, to be _happy_ ,” she had taken his hands sometime in the last five seconds, and he felt the anger pulsing bright red through them. “but all you do is destroy my chances at it. Why?”

He scoffed, ripping his hands away and crossing the room to stare out the window. It was raining again. Why did she always have to turn situations into things they weren’t? And why did it always rain here?

_She loves it._

“Why indeed,” he said, barely audible, hands tucked into the endless black of his robes. “Perhaps because the very people you idolize and say want to bring peace to us all cast me away when I was just a child. When I had done nothing but ask for someone to play with me or read me a story.” His face twisted, emotion playing on his face in flashes faster than she could register. “The _family_ who tried to kill me for resisting an evil I wanted no part of until I saw the truth.” He turned, hatred apparent on his features. “That people only want you when you posses something they need, and they are quick to turn against you when that possession become dangerous.”

He walked slowly over to her, Darkness enveloping them both in a sickening warmth. “I think you understand what I am speaking of.” He pressed a hand to the back of her neck, and suddenly they were on the cliff of the Island as Luke scrambled away from her in horror, on the ship in Poe’s quarters as hot tears fled her eyes to escape down her cheeks, her only friends shouting angrily down at her.

_You know, Sola._

_I know._

_Then come with me._

_Kylo. . ._

_Come with me._

He was close. Too close to be comfortable, and yet she was. He was warm, and he was Dark, and he was, as ironic as it sounded, _safe._

_Come with me._

Too close. Too close. Too close. Too close too close too close too close too-

Late.

________________

When his lips met hers she wasn’t sure, when they had made it to her bed she wasn’t sure, when she had found herself under him half dressed and gasping she wasn’t sure, and when she had torn into his skin with her nails and cried as he pressed kisses down her chest, she didn’t know.

What she did know was that, as she basked in the last moments of warmth and pressed patterns into the bubble of bright yellow that surrounded them, that things were now very, very, very different.

Looking at him here though, she thought, tangled in a single bedsheet and an arm draped protectively over her waist, that maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing.

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. still going down with this ship  
> 2\. still in need of ideas! Whoever mentioned adding Hux, I'm working with it currently and its giving me a lot of challenges! I hope to come up with something for you soon though.  
> 3\. feedback is love & I need both :)


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